A New Chapter

Today, I sat down with two copies of a six page, double-sided document entitled “Junior Kindergarten Registration”. I carefully placed each set beside one another in front of me on the desk. I wrote down my children’s names and then proceeded to … Continue reading

Look out Martha Stewart. I have your number :P

Have you ever had one of those moments where you think if I don’t cross this to-do item off my list I am going to …

(a) scream

(b) go crazy

(c) cry

(d) all of the above

I am ashamed to admit the twins nursery has never been decorated. Sure they have dressers, cribs, toys…the basics.  We moved all of the “art” to Isaac’s big boy room before they were born and never replaced it. What bothers me even more than the lack of decor are the window treatments.  They are not fully sun blocking.  They go to bed at 6:30 pm – 7 pm. The sun is BEAMING into their room as we try to put them to bed.  I have been finding it hard to find a time to go out and shop for blackout curtains.

Yesterday. I snapped. I started cutting up garbage bags with the full intention of taping them onto the back of our drapery panels. Can you say trashy?! I was justifying it in my mind that our garage blocks the view of their room from the road.  The neighbours would never have to know!  They would sleep therefore WE would sleep.

Somewhere between cutting up the garbage bags and adhering them with tape I had a stroke of what I am going to call brilliance.  We had an old pair of drapery panels from Isaac’s old room in the basement. I flew downstairs. I grabbed the “new” panels. I ran upstairs. I rushed into our office/guest room and grabbed a stapler. Yes, a stapler. I do not own a sewing machine (although I do hope to learn…maybe in the winter…). I did NOT have the time to learn how to sew yesterday. The stapler was my means to the end I was looking for.

Eureka! I decided I would staple the old panels to the back of the existing panels. What do you know it worked?! The dark brown curtains hide evidence of the staples.

My mother-in-law may not be impressed with my domestic prowess but mission accomplished. The room is dark. So dark that I ran into the crib in the middle of the night. *OUCH*

Thanks for visiting!

S

M.O.M (MOM of MULTIPLES)!

Our house is full of movement.

I have twins. No surprise. I am not sure why (well I know why) but in the past day or two it seems like I feel more and more like a mom of multiples (M.O.M). The pressure is building. I am breastfeeding multiples. I am preparing baby food solids for multiples and now…I am chasing multiples.

My twins who stayed on their blanket in the middle of the family room are gone. I think one is over by the stairs and the other one is tipping over the dog bowl. I hear the *slap*slap* of four tiny hands on the tile floor. I hear the *crash* of the bin of tea towels and wash cloths as it hits the floor. I hear the *clunk* of the video camera being pulled from the cabinet.  I am a mom to multiples.  They seem to be everywhere!

Let the games begin!

Let the cardio workouts begin (no gym required)!

I was dreading the day that they would crawl but my heart skips a beat at the sight of them as they follow each other and their big brother around the house.  They look proud. They look happy. What more could a parent ask for?

S

Internal Conflict!

I am struggling.

One of my last posts was about feeding three (including me). Things were going okay. I felt positive about being able to feed M & E.  I felt confident. Things were going okay.  I have hit yet another obstacle akin to February 2012 (the extreme dietary changes …which prompted my mother to say STOP FEEDING THEM AND EAT).  I know mom. I will most likely do the same thing to my little girl when she runs into an issue. I will try and protect her but….

Anyway back on track…they are both getting their TEETH. We have 6 per mouth. To the Mamas, can you imagine TWELVE TEETH? They may be weaning themselves because they are NOT being cooperative. I am not one to give in easily. It has been about a week or so of …let’s say complications.

I have come so far…at what point do I give in and stop?

Is it called giving in?

Have I done enough?

Am I too hard on myself?

Time will tell. I think I am tired. I feel like I have been tired since December 2010.  To be honest, I am so tired I could just sit in the corner and cry.

I don’t want sympathy. I just wanted the chance to express myself as I (unexpectedly) hit what may be an obstacle in this journey of feeding TWINS that I cannot overcome. Maybe I need to change my frame of thought…I need to think of how far that I have come and all that I have accomplished. It sounds good in theory. But I am not quite there yet…

Thanks for sharing my mixed up, emotional thoughts!

[Update: I wrote this post 2 days ago. I have decided to keep going for another week or so and feel how I feel. I feel much better than when I originally sat down to write this post. More hopeful! Also I spoke to some great moms that I know at TOT-SPOT (play group) and they helped me find a better perspective! It is great to have other moms to talk with about these things!]

S

Feeding Three

I have Boy/Girl Twins.

Before they were born I was often asked would I breastfeed them.  I was puzzled by the question. Of course I would. I fed my Older Son. Why not the twins?  There would be obstacles and challenges but certainly it would be possible. Wouldn’t it?  There was the occasional flash of self-doubt but I would brush it off.

My twins are nine months old and are still exclusively breastfed (with the exception of baby solids – see baby food post).  I am not saying it is the only way or this way is better. But it is the better choice for us.

In the early days of Life with Three Under Three there are many challenges

  • Logistics – how do you hold two at a time? do you wake both babies to feed at the same time? Do they nurse on one side only?
  • Time – It is an immense time commitment to breastfeed two babies every hour on the hour
  • Physically Demanding – Just keep eating Just keep eating (I have to eat a lot of extra calories) and drinking (water that is…shhh don’t mention that glass of wine)!
  • Social Pressure to stop especially when M started to have food-related reactions
  • Lack of knowledge from the doctor – “surely you aren’t feeding them?”
  • Where do I feed them when I am out (a typical question for BF mothers)? I just take longer to complete the task.
  • No sleep (no difference if they were having bottles)!
  • Jealousy of the older sibling (it is hard to see mommy with two new babies)
  • Pressure to have the sole responsibility for feeding your babies
  • Painful (you can imagine if you have breastfed a baby before) at the start
  • Enough milk? As with feeding one you have to monitor the number of wet diapers & weight gain. There is no difference really.

There are also many advantages:

  • Wonderful opportunity to bond with each baby
  • Health benefits of breast milk
  • Tandem feeding – cut down on the time required to feed during those LONG, LONG nights at the beginning
  • Less expensive
  • No need to mix up THOUSANDS of bottles
  • Minimal planning (for example taking bottles when out of the house)
  • Personally satisfying
  • A license to EAT more 🙂 😛
The gear:
This is a double or twin breastfeeding pillow. It is HUGE. I am thankfully finished with it.  The amount of baby gear around our home is INSANE.

I feel my babies have adapted to sharing. They are quick feeders, efficient, content with one-side dining and do not usually require burping!  I feel very fortunate that I was/am able to feed my babies.  It was a good fit for us and our family.  Did I want to quit at times? Absolutely! Was I ever frustrated? Absolutely! Am I glad that I stuck with it? Absolutely!

Thank you for letting me share my experience of feeding three (five if you include preparing dinners)!

Sarah

“There are two”…2 what? 2 babies? Are you talking about me? “Yes, you are having TWINS”

December 24, 2010 – The day that changed my life, our lives, the dream of what I thought tomorrow would be.

“Yes, you are having TWINS”. Time slowed down. I could not hear. I could not think. So what did I do? I laughed. Not a quiet, gentle laugh. But a hysterical, gut-wrenching, cheek hurting laugh on the ultrasound table in a doctor’s office. I was alone.

The ultrasound tech said “Is there anyone here with you?”.

I said “Yes, my husband”.

She said ” Ok I will get him so you can tell him”.

I said “No way. You can tell him”. How do you tell your husband something like that? I could not hear anything or feel my body. I was beside myself.  I must admit it was not all happy thoughts in the first 5 minutes (or maybe even first few days). What would we do? How could we afford two more children? Where would they sleep? How big would my belly be? What would I be like after I gave birth? My body? Then the fear started to creep in…will they be okay? How do I keep them healthy? Oh my god. The pressure of it all….

Back to the doctor’s office. Andrew walks in. I can hardly look at him. He is not expecting anything. He looks so …unaware of the bombshell that just hit me.  I wish I could prepare him. My body is still shaking and I think I may be smiling.

The ultrasound tech says “here are the heartbeats”. Andrew looks at me. He looks at her.

I said “there are two babies”.

He said. Nothing. He walked over to a chair in the corner and sat down. He still said nothing. Andrew say something?! He said “How did this happen? What are we going to do?!”. My thoughts exactly!

As we leave the room we take our picture of our two, little babies. My hands are still shaking. I think I am still laughing as I walk into the waiting room.  Then the receptionist said we have to book your next ultrasound APPOINTMENTS since you have a high-risk pregnancy. This is the moment where I realize. I have no idea what I am in for…I am so oblivious at this point to what I am facing.  It is laughable (good thing I am still laughing).

The date is December 24, 2010. The day that will forever be emblazoned in my mind.  Both families were to arrive at our house the next morning to celebrate Christmas. We couldn’t possibly hide this news.

We did not speak as we made the short drive home from the office. We did not know what to say. We prepared lunch for our little baby Isaac (What will this be like for him? I was planning on spending my next mat leave with him? Will I have time to spend with him?). Ok mind. STOP TALKING. Have you ever had to tell yourself to be QUIET?

Our parents, our siblings all did not believe us at first. This must be a joke. No it is not April Fool’s Day. It is Christmas. Look at our faces! We are NOT making this up. We could not have even dreamed this one?

It is our reality now. We immediately start worrying…Andrew about renovating our kitchen to make space for our new children. And I, I worried about keeping them safe. I worried about my health. I just worried for the next 9 months.

The thing about news like this…once you know you have 2 babies. You want 2 babies. I instantly loved them. I would have done anything to make sure Baby A and Baby B were okay.

The next 9 months….STAY TUNED….

S