Internal Conflict!

I am struggling.

One of my last posts was about feeding three (including me). Things were going okay. I felt positive about being able to feed M & E.  I felt confident. Things were going okay.  I have hit yet another obstacle akin to February 2012 (the extreme dietary changes …which prompted my mother to say STOP FEEDING THEM AND EAT).  I know mom. I will most likely do the same thing to my little girl when she runs into an issue. I will try and protect her but….

Anyway back on track…they are both getting their TEETH. We have 6 per mouth. To the Mamas, can you imagine TWELVE TEETH? They may be weaning themselves because they are NOT being cooperative. I am not one to give in easily. It has been about a week or so of …let’s say complications.

I have come so far…at what point do I give in and stop?

Is it called giving in?

Have I done enough?

Am I too hard on myself?

Time will tell. I think I am tired. I feel like I have been tired since December 2010.  To be honest, I am so tired I could just sit in the corner and cry.

I don’t want sympathy. I just wanted the chance to express myself as I (unexpectedly) hit what may be an obstacle in this journey of feeding TWINS that I cannot overcome. Maybe I need to change my frame of thought…I need to think of how far that I have come and all that I have accomplished. It sounds good in theory. But I am not quite there yet…

Thanks for sharing my mixed up, emotional thoughts!

[Update: I wrote this post 2 days ago. I have decided to keep going for another week or so and feel how I feel. I feel much better than when I originally sat down to write this post. More hopeful! Also I spoke to some great moms that I know at TOT-SPOT (play group) and they helped me find a better perspective! It is great to have other moms to talk with about these things!]



One thought on “Internal Conflict!

  1. I love the picture you have chosen to illustrate your feelings, but all I can say is “Don’t jump!”
    You’ve given M and E a wonderful start in life. You shouldn’t feel guilty if you decide to stop now.

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